Two Poems by Wei-Chih Eudela

Love or Aesthetics?

Whenever I stare at your beautiful face

I feel like my mind is at an empty abyss. 

I just then notice that I am out of place.

When you are not around, I feel something is amiss. 

 

Your elegance captures the many hearts

Of those people lucky enough to see

Your beauty that looks like valuable art

That several people wish to retrieve

 

However, sometimes I begin to ponder

If what I feel for you is really romance?

Or is it just a feeling of great wonder

Whenever at your beauty, I start to glance?

 

It’s difficult for me to comprehend

And it is surely hard for me to deal

Are my feelings just a pretend

Or are they surely that real?

 

It is very hard for me to dig deep and isolate

The emotions that inside of me constantly flutter

I cannot even express them in this confused state

For when you’re in my front, my lips suddenly stutter.

 

I imagine you not as a flower to be raised

But as a rose I am eager to take and possess

Do I really seek to court you for yourself

Or do I only want your beauty and nothing else?

 

Whenever you come into my rattled mind

I can only recreate pictures of your beauty

I do not imagine scenes of you being my wife

Or someone I will be with for eternity

 

Perhaps what I feel is simply just lust

Simply a feeling of admiration

It makes me then hard to trust

The content of my true emotions

 

Besides, I know that you will never be mine

Even if I try to capture your attention.

Yet I continue to convince myself that I’ll be fine

Even if it is not the ideal or best solution.

 

Perhaps the best course is to discard all these needless theatrics

And continue to honestly appreciate your gifted, envied aesthetics

 

Melancholy

Whenever I open my eyes with the dawn of a new day

I breathe deeply then wished in my sleep I just died

For the anguish of the yesteryears don’t want to go away

I felt my life had no purpose, that I led myself astray

 

The day moves on sluggishly with excruciating pain

Never thought my mind would be painfully maimed

By the memories and reminisces inside my brain

Such grief and gloom that makes me so insane

 

The sadness that I obtained in my life had gone so deep

That it continues to latch on even when I sleep

An emotional baggage that I never wanted to keep

I wish all of these would go away with just one beep

 

But I guess it would be hard for me to distance 

Myself from all and every events and instance

The actions which became my own penance

My grief that makes me unable to see life’s elegance

 

I wish that it would be very easy for me to forget

The actions (or lack thereof) that I have set 

The words that I have unintentionally said

The things that in my life, I deeply regret

 

But I guess I would have to march on 

No matter my life’s desired direction

I cannot lose my optimism and conviction

Even after my life’s burning flame has been gone

 

I guess I will continue and with all my tribulations, I will deal

Rather than give up and offer myself as a sacrificial kill

 

Wei-Chih Eudela is a half-Filipino and half-Taiwanese currently residing in the Philippines. He mainly write poems, novels, essays, and scripts. He also graduated from Paranaque National High School-Main and aside from writing, He loves talking about politics, listening to music, and learning new languages.