Angry Enough and Patriarchal Wedding

By Taylor Rae Connor

Angry Enough

I look at you with eyes blinded 
By pain, sadness, hatred—
And I see a guilty man. 

The future I dreamed of crumbles,
Leaving gray ashes in my quivering hands. 

There will never be a romantic wedding 
To mark what should been the happiest day
Of our wonderful life together. 
The family I once longed for will never breathe
Outside the fragments of my imagination. 

You single handedly destroyed
My dreams, my future. 

I’ll never trust or love you
Like I did before.
It’s pitiful to admit but I confess
I measure time in relation to your infidelity. 
I can only think in terms of
Before and after you betrayed me. 

Every month since I discovered the truth,
I’ve had dreams of you cheating again. 
The first several dreams I awoke from
Broke my heart all over again.

My most recent dream was different.
For the very first time, 
My fury finally presented itself. 
I was angry enough to kill,
Angry enough to walk away. 

This loathing remained after I woke,
So I nurture this flame, this passion. 
Hatred replaces my love:
I cannot be merely indifferent 
To you after all this time. 

I look at you with eyes blinded 
By pain, sadness, hatred—
And I see a guilty man. 

So this is goodbye. 

Patriarchal Wedding

Dressed in a new tux,
I seek out my bride,
The center of all interest. 

She has been dressed 
In her finest silks,
Her hair perfumed,
Tastefully framing her face.
A portrait of perfection.

Guests in their sunday best
Surround the tearful mother.
She cannot believe 
This day arrived so soon. 

We invited everyone
We ever knew to celebrate. 
I glide through the crowd,
Drawing their attentive eyes,
Admiring the rainbow of flowers
Drowning in a black sea. 

My bride- so still- is speechless.
No blush paints her cheeks,
No smile warms her expression. 

The guests look on 
As I take her stiff hand in mine. 
I press her cold skin to my lips,
Inhaling the scent of her corpse. 

Taylor Rae Connor is a nonbinary English major at Utah Tech University. Reading and writing are (and have always been) their life’s greatest passions. The only thing better than curling up with a good book is writing their next adventure.