By Taylor Rae Connor
I look at you with eyes blinded By pain, sadness, hatred— And I see a guilty man. The future I dreamed of crumbles, Leaving gray ashes in my quivering hands. There will never be a romantic wedding To mark what should been the happiest day Of our wonderful life together. The family I once longed for will never breathe Outside the fragments of my imagination. You single handedly destroyed My dreams, my future. I’ll never trust or love you Like I did before. It’s pitiful to admit but I confess I measure time in relation to your infidelity. I can only think in terms of Before and after you betrayed me. Every month since I discovered the truth, I’ve had dreams of you cheating again. The first several dreams I awoke from Broke my heart all over again. My most recent dream was different. For the very first time, My fury finally presented itself. I was angry enough to kill, Angry enough to walk away. This loathing remained after I woke, So I nurture this flame, this passion. Hatred replaces my love: I cannot be merely indifferent To you after all this time. I look at you with eyes blinded By pain, sadness, hatred— And I see a guilty man. So this is goodbye.
Dressed in a new tux, I seek out my bride, The center of all interest. She has been dressed In her finest silks, Her hair perfumed, Tastefully framing her face. A portrait of perfection. Guests in their sunday best Surround the tearful mother. She cannot believe This day arrived so soon. We invited everyone We ever knew to celebrate. I glide through the crowd, Drawing their attentive eyes, Admiring the rainbow of flowers Drowning in a black sea. My bride- so still- is speechless. No blush paints her cheeks, No smile warms her expression. The guests look on As I take her stiff hand in mine. I press her cold skin to my lips, Inhaling the scent of her corpse.
Taylor Rae Connor is a nonbinary English major at Utah Tech University. Reading and writing are (and have always been) their life’s greatest passions. The only thing better than curling up with a good book is writing their next adventure.