A Bloom That Refuses To Die

By Mariam Shote

Last night I was in solitude as if to say I wander in eigengrau 
with eyes closed while cold lava runs down my cheeks in 
a burning sensation. It always feels like a dream— but it’s not. 
The warmth of my tears slap me awake, dragging me into reality. 
When I try to whisper the name of God, I drown. 
I’m as confused as a caveman with a thoughtless cry from a caged bird. 

I scream to be loved, to be seen, 
to be supported, to grow. 
I yell into the corner of my room, 
but no one hears me 
except the walls swallowing my wailing and spitting out grief. 

I want to grow into my dream self, 
but I feel trapped in a desert with invisible chains. 
My hands and feet are free, 
but my mind is a prison. 
My dreams dissolve into emptiness, 
my voice echoing back at me like a stranger. 

So I cry myself to sleep at night, 
growing in the tiny space I have. 
But every time I bloom, 
my branches break. 
The pain feels life-claiming, 
but I know it’s only the beginning. 

There’s more to come. 
But no giving up, not in my world. 
I’ll endure. I’ll survive. 
Because he who laughs last, laughs best.

Mariam Shote is a Nigerian emerging poet, writer, content creator, and fashion enthusiast. Her work blends emotion, storytelling, and vivid imagery, often exploring resilience, identity, and beauty in everyday life. She’s on LinkedIn as Mariam Shote Adedoyin.