The Paradox of Apologies

By Jonizza Giovanna Lupi

I’m Sorry

Finding yourself uttering “I’m sorry” as easily as breathing, you realize it has become a reflex, a default response in your interactions. It slips. The words roll off your tongue, involuntarily peppering your conversations. A verbal tic. But as you catch yourself apologizing for things beyond your control or when no fault lies with you, you begin to wonder: why do you say sorry so frequently?

The habit of apologizing excessively can be a revealing mirror, reflecting deeper insecurities, a fear of judgment, or a need to preserve harmony. It’s a crutch. You lean on this crutch, perhaps too heavily at times, shaping not just how others perceive you but also how you perceive yourself. Do your apologies lose their value? Is their genuineness eroded by their overuse?

In a world where “I’m sorry” flows freely, take a moment to reflect on the roots of your apologies. Why? Do you apologize to fill silences? To avoid conflict? To seek validation? Or do you find solace in apologies. Do you see it as a barrier against discomfort and maybe even vulnerability?

Perhaps by reevaluating when and why you apologize, reserving those words for moments of true remorse or empathy, you can breathe new life into your communication. Embrace it. Embrace your vulnerability and acknowledge your missteps without the crutch of an automated response. 

You’re sorry? Don’t be. 

I’m Not Sorry

“I’m sorry” is not in your vocabulary. Instead, you navigate conversations with a tactful dance. Sidestepping. Refusing to utter those two simple words has become a silent rebellion. You see apologies as a sign of weakness, a surrender to the expectations of others. Why apologize when you can deflect blame or shift responsibility elsewhere?

Your refusal to say sorry is a shield against the discomfort of owning up to mistakes. A barrier. It’s a way to maintain control, to keep your pride intact even when the fault clearly lies at your feet.

But as you weave this intricate web of denial and evasion, a nagging question lingers: Does your pride come at the expense of genuine connections? What of trust? What of growth?

In a world where accountability is often scarce, your reluctance to apologize sets you apart. But as you navigate this path of unapologetic defiance, remember that true strength lies not in avoiding responsibility but in facing it head-on.

So go on, accept the discomfort. Accept the vulnerability that comes with acknowledging faults and shortcomings. Sometimes, saying “I’m sorry” is not a sign of weakness but a testament to courage and growth. 

Don’t fear it. Embrace it. Embrace your humanity, flaws and all.

In the absence of apologies, let your actions speak louder than words. Show remorse and accountability through deeds. Be unapologetically you, but remember, there’s strength in humility, in saying those two simple words when they are truly warranted.

So now I ask you this. 

Are you sorry?

Jonizza Giovanna Lupi, a Political Science Major at the University of Portland, graduated high school at 16 years old and was granted the privilege of attending the University of Portland with a full-ride scholarship. Passionate about writing, Jonizza has been honing her craft for a considerable period, primarily as a hobby, with a recent focus on poetry and reflective pieces. Encouraging readers to contemplate their connection to apologies and accountability, Jonizza’s work aims to evoke introspection on the delicate balance of vulnerability and strength.