By E Kerr
chronic. you see through me like an X-ray machine— too much ionizing radiation can make a person sick.
my mother will always be a mother, even if she’s not my mother by choice; I am native to her science, formed in matrical manners, meant to be, and my mother mumbled mine, claimed maternal instinct would manifest eventually. but I will never be a mother. modify my autonomy, mold my ions into isotopic mass, am I bound to be explosive, bound to be my mother? I am experimenting with this matter.
The Gray Rock Method
She demands an answer—she wants to hear me confess, fall to my knees and beg for her pardon, regardless of if I didn’t tell anyone—she hisses liar and I turn to stone. I know she feels like Medusa among my stoic presence, powerful with just a glance in my direction. Cursed, this form of petrification would keep me safe if she tried to carve me out—stone by bone—whittled down to small malleable pieces, that she would try and mold into remnants of a daughter.
Elias Kerr (they/he) is a transmasculine poet who has been published in Esprit, Evening Street Review, The Hollins Critic, and Rappahannock Review. Kerr is a recipient of the inaugural 2022 Stemmler/Dennis LGBT& Award. Their poetry focuses on how the literary arts can be used to explore and represent identity. Kerr studies occupational therapy with double minors in English and creative writing at The University of
Scranton. They write using the pen name E Kerr.