Partially Still Here and Other Poems

By Akintoye Akinsola

Partially Still Here

It was on a quiet night
And my jammed conscious state poured into a frozen canal
Yes, we were told not to believe castles could be built in the sun
But I wanted that to be untrue
The speed boat flipped over, landing badly and my being was punctured with holes
Suddenly my body became heavy as a rock and I slipped into a coma 
It felt like a burning body in a confessional 
My story of adventure now on hold
A lasting discomfort engraved on my crippled chest
I must have been a machine for no tear fell from me
Maybe there shouldn’t be tears, I wouldn’t know, after all I’m in a coma
But now, my anxious body wore patience like a fallen angel waiting perhaps for death to take me on its wings

Road From Freedom

I glued myself to sedition’s hem
Souvenir to my eventual frowzy coffin (downfall)
Where its melted stronghold was rebuilt in my image
	
I enjoyed the fruition of shrunk ornaments
Till peril came knocking like death
And like a requiem song
It hovered above my head
Till my rotten leaked fate was sealed-  
With many years in prison! 

A Case Of Fistula

The night’s compass was sore with bruises 
With no bearing nor direction
Skins torn
The cause- village’s soiled torch
Stones built with cursed frankincense
A monument they say befits their honour
We once dreamt of fine wine, where its aroma was a scented rose 
Not a scarred and unpleasant smell that drips from their bodies they say!
Discarded like clothes used to bring down a hot pot from firewood used to cook 

Plastic figurines with eyes poking out like bent bones these unwelcomed people are
With faces painted like mannequins in shops  
But the discarded are now royalty with sparkling regalia
Colourful shades of thoughts imprinted on their tongues
Like coat of arm worn proudly
For pebbles have been thrown into the pond and the aftermath- ripples!

Life’s Hard Lesson

We built our house in the shape of a butterfly
But I was told a home is more important
Our parish priest told us prosperity is not all sweet fortune 
For it is dangerous to think so and we might end up feeding our tales with drenched tears
Will you draw a silhouette of my soul until it is clamped with my breath?
We played a game of colour, and I chose the colour purple
It seemed like a soft daisy, robed in floral taste

How hard can life be? Even without a book
It’s probably like Judas, rich in betrayal’s tale
Never be too gentle, it will make you seem weak
Never be too firm, it will make you heartless
My body seems to journey along a darker bliss
Unearth life’s tasteless roots

In instalment, my body drifts away
I folded and unfolded again
Perhaps it will smother my vices
Now in my mortal body, I take my steps gently
Into the land of magic that blows bubbles to crown my feet with halos 
And my silence is my self- defence
But temptations won’t let me be
Resting on my uneven shoulders
But I will immerse myself in the desert filled with honey cascading down my body

Soliloquy

I was beautiful
Fervent desires for life cherished  
But now, pierced with derision
I belch only pain 
Oblivious of life 
And my smile, carved in the shape of rusty braids
I watched my sordid fate become the language of my once winsome life
Trickling down the hills of my waist

The marks of beatings on my sagging breasts
I saw no sun.....
No rain to water my lifeless heart
But my shadow was burgeoned to death
My heart- none but a lonely hunter!
To grease no elbow
Nor sing to my howling bosom

Mama combed my hair when I was little
Sewed my dress with Adire fabrics and would wear beads on my head, waist and ankles
But now the beauty is gone!
No waist to hold the beads
No dimples in my smile
The African Cinderella now carries beneath her pale veins a blade forged with death’s teeth
I was kidnapped and sold into slavery at 8-
Modern slave trade!
And now, they’ve only coloured me worthless
For I wish I can have my childhood back.....
A life where I could smile again, tie my gele and hold a bright burning candle to the soft wind to kiss its cheeks with a sapphire amidst this unwelcomed mortal embrace 

I Remember Mama

We called her ‘Mama’
Wrapped in rosebud
One whose eyes used to be like buttercup
Clasped in immortal sunshine
The days of flawless happiness and red roses

Then the shiny face started to turn dun
We cursed the darkness that pitched its tent in our home
Most unfortunately in mama’s heart
The palms that dispersed blessings, now rain out curses like river
Call her ugly, call her pale
She was still our morning star
The ‘advanced heart disease’ sucked ‘forever’ away
Causing swollen souls to falter
Now, behind her lost sick gaze...face
The radiance of simplicity was grinded into dust dripping into dirty sand
We could see the pain on her face 

On the night she passed away
A familiar voice bit the air
With folded wings of a beaten dragon
The tasteless wind ate the whiff of her joy

Though her stay, transient 
 Every moment narrates her tale
This I know immortalizes her breath

Their Song

Roses are red, sky is blue.....
We know that song well
Reigned more that any mortal king
Has outlived even Methuselah
It was inherited by their ignorance
By their wandering impatience that coiled deep 
Nestling within unquenchable bosom
Our talent mostly unseen
Too inferior and marred to claim the prize 
Now, the stage is set in tumbling disarray with few who know the path to love
I hear disability is a disease 
I hear our spittle brings doom
And our reflection in the mirror is just a ghost
The myth is to smoke more than you chew
Perhaps the ground will burn our ‘demons’
And give room for immaculate heads to meet
As if our inexistence will restore the world’s sanity
Grotesque behaviour these men embody
Dangling our talents from a cubicle that lacks oxygen
As if our deaths will lead to a royal burial

Wraith

Ah! An image with a burly might appeared before my sight, then to my left 
An unblemished smile to behold
Like death will no longer have his name written on it

A shadowy semblance
Gazing down my desert eyes
An unsubstantial image
On a trampled night to glow


The sharp thorns that brought bliss, fixated on my side
As I relish at the chainless sea
A man who stood before me

And this night- the best morning!
Petals that drew my bright colours
To thrill my guts with his gracious presence

His subtle grin struck my brow
To change my streak of bad luck
And spray my agony for elate crown

The gentle night rose in fine flame
And throbbing pain under the toothless moon was no more 
He lands on foot after levitating awhile 
With a body light as nature

My wraith- a ghost
Of heavenly decor to greet
And talks that glow like a gardenia
To cheer my spirit

The curtains and window panes waved
The room shook
As the wraith roamed
To set lose my imprisoned thoughts

The good-nick of night that opened for this August visitor
To help me heal from his death
And burn the colds of the night

I saw a wraith that drank my tears 
He- my friend that then appeared frequently
The splash of green that filled the Earth

It Was a Day Like Forever

I was ten years old when my father took me to a garden
Rich with white and red roses
And its warmth sprinkled on my chest 
The rose oil and rose water sprung in delight on wishful leaves
And I with delight entered its paradise
As I made a colourful cloth from the flowers of roses
The crags rested beneath some fallen roses
Fitting nicely like pearls on a beach
And oh! My dwelling, a fancy abode
The budding desire of joy as I swallowed their smell
To send forth such lustrous coolness
And I keenly listened to their speech as the breeze settled on my young shoulder
The fondness that remained as enticing as the magical stream

Between The Mountains Where Love Lay

The meteors coloured the sparks that mesmerized the mountains
Drooling with flavour
With the seas sparkling in its majesty
A royal dandelion that floats	
Hitting gently on my face, the birth of a smile

I wondered how nature could be this fun
How young its energy is
Walking on love it portrayed
A sinless harbour to reside
A mountain cottage with flowers nearby
And fresh air that surrounds it
Closer to heaven, how immaculate!

I, a nature lover
That bore this pleasant saffron
Composed a hymn with flair for this beauty to behold!
A bounty of love
The friendship untrodden
Rising into the moment
Never to be forgotten 

Akintoye Akinsola is an Accountant and Poet from Nigeria. His works has appeared in Kalahari Review Magazine among others and forthcoming in Piker Press Magazine. He loves movies and music and appreciates the simple things of life.  He writes on various themes such as Love, Nature, Pain, Injustices etc.