Broken

By Alessandra Salisbury

 

I never knew the reason

or even if you ever had one

I remember the last time

when you were tormented

affected by something

bigger than us

But

‘What could ever be bigger than us’

We had it all

The world was

small for us

The streets were

narrow

when we ran drunk

laughing out loud

with arms wide opened

We were fearless

and fun

We were in love

But then, suddenly,

you were gone

and the small world

the narrow streets

became big

spacious,

empty

I didn’t hear from you

for five months

Until that night

in that night club

when I saw your friend

He came straight up to me and didn’t save a word

He told me everything I didn’t want to know

You got someone pregnant

You were getting married

Lights became dark

The floor disappeared under my feet

I sunk into a hole

I wasn’t there anymore

I stepped out of my shattered body

and saw my broken pieces

all over people’s feet on the dance floor

I don’t remember anything else from that night

Only that you  

killed me

And dead I stayed for a while

For years I looked for

another one

who had your name

I actually met one but

He couldn’t get even close

to what you were to me

And neither

the others after him

I could never be

the same person again

I was dead

But one day

in the middle of my misery

I decided to born again

And I did

For twenty two years,

I lived

And lived and lived

I travelled

I danced

I sang

I even performed on a

Off-Broadway stage

I lived happily until,

a few months ago,

when life

made us meet again

And there you were

and there I was

And there was everything

intact

exactly the same

how it was left

when you left

We were ourselves again

But now life is different

Everything around us is different

And we can’t handle being us anymore

I’m broken again

 

 

Alessandra Salisbury is a Brazilian creative writer, actress and dancer. She lives in Australia. She published a kids’ book called Naughty Nana. Her works appeared on the American magazines, Anti-Heroin Chic, The Borfski Press, Seethingograhy and BlogNostics, and in the Indian OPA Anthology of Contemporary Women’s Poetry. In Australia, her works appeared on Northerly Magazine.