Forever and Always

I started in the living room. Preparing to sob as I placed each item into the cardboard box, I came to find that not one drop ran down my face. It was a strange feeling that I was unsure of. Deciding to ignore it, I continued to pack up my late husband’s things and place the box containing his ashes above the fireplace. I creaked open an old drawer that held boxes of Andrew’s old collector’s items and took them out, one by one. Underneath them I found a blue sticky note attached to an old picture frame. I peeled off the note and flipped it over. I was surprised to see that no words had been written on it, but then I remembered that I had put color coded sticky notes on my belongings when I was packing up my things from… well my old home, where I lived with Omar. I looked back at the frame and saw a young boy standing next to a girl who was holding a baby in her arms.

 

“Alright here he is, your beautiful baby boy.”

“Omar, go see what they’re doing.”

“So dad, he’s 7 pounds and 5 ounces, and about 21 inches. He’s gonna be a strong boy.”

“Did you hear that, Maddy? He’s our perfect baby boy.”

“Now, what are you gonna name him?”

“Omar?”

“His name will be Christian.”

“Ok, mom look over here and smile.”

They didn’t need to tell me to smile in that moment. I was the happiest person in the world. I had the two people that I loved most right by my side.

“My two boys. How could I ever have been so lucky.”

“No, Maddy, I’m the lucky one.”

“I love you.”

“And and I love you.”

“Forever and Always.”

“Forever and Always.”

A vow to each other, that no matter what, we would always love each other, look out for one another, and be there whenever and wherever.

 

I looked up and stared straight ahead into the distance; and this time I felt a tear drift down my cheek. The back of my hand brushed my face, but it couldn’t stop the stream. I tried to disregard the memory and continued to look through drawers and cabinets for old things that needed to be packed up.

The phone rang. I got up off of my knees and brushed off my dusty hands on my pants. When I picked up the phone, a woman with a hoarse voice was on the other side.

“Maddy?”

“Yes this is Maddy.”

“Hey, it’s Tina.”

“Tina?! Wow I didn’t recognize your voice. I haven’t heard from you in a while. How have you been?”

“Um, Maddy… I don’t exactly know how to say this, but…”

“Wait what’s wrong? You don’t sound too good.”

“It’s.. It’s not me. It’s Omar.”

“What do you mean? What’s wrong with Omar? Don’t tell me he’s drinking again!”

“No no. He’s been sober for maybe, well, I guess about 26 years.”

“Well then, what is this about Omar?”

“He’s been sad and has fallen into that depression phase several times before, but this time it’s just different.”

“And you want me to come over and try to fix it?”

“Well you’ve helped each other in the past haven’t you?”

“I mean yea, but I don’t know if I should right now.”

‘“But you’re the only one. No, seriously. I went to his house and there he was laying on the couch watching TV and he didn’t even look at me. I asked him why he hadn’t been picking up my calls, and once there was no response. Just before I left he said to me, ‘I need Maddy.’”

Omar and I had been through so much together. Our relationship went from lovers, to best friends. We had always helped each other, but I just wasn’t sure that I would be able to help him this time. The last time he began acting this way… I left. He had been drinking and went into a depressed stage for a while. It ended in a rage full of anger. I turned to look at a bump on my arm, as I let Tina continue on talking.

 

“You’re drunk!”

“How could you do this to me?!”

“YOU ARE DRUNK! Stop it! Stop throwing things! You’re going to wake him up.”
“Well even better if he does, ‘cause then you’ll finally get to see him when he wakes up, instead of riding off with that man before the sun rises.”

“What the hell is wrong with you? How could you possibly think that I would ever do that? And what does this mean to you? What does the ring say, huh?”

“Forever and Always.”

“That’s right ‘Forever and Always.’  Never would I ever do something like that to you and Christian.”

He got so angry that he threw an empty beer bottle at the wall. One of the shards bounced off the wall, flew across the room, and skimmed my arm. Although the cut was small, it left a mark. A mark that I would look at on this day, while Tina spoke to me over the phone.

 

“Hello? Maddy? Are you still there?”

“Um yea… sorry. I was, um… just… nevermind.”

“So, will you come?”

“I just… I don’t know. Let me think about it.”

I hung up the phone and ran down the hallway to bust open the door to my room. I placed the stepping stool next to the closet to help me grab a box from the top shelf of the closet. It was a turquoise jewelry box, containing only one item,  a heart shaped locket. I picked it up and turned it over to read the back.

Forever and Always.

He gave it to me for my birthday the year that we split up.

“Hey… so, uh… Happy Birthday.”

“You didn’t have to”

“Just take it, and read it. Promise me you’ll read it.”

“Ok. Um… thanks.”

There was a card attached to the top of the box when he gave it to me, and it read,

This isn’t what you deserve for everything that you’ve done for me, but until I am able to give it to you, this is another promise. I promise that I will be your best friend and help you through it all. Call me up whenever you need to, because I will be there to listen. Our friendship is and will be forever and always.

 

Rereading the card and holding the locket in my hands made me remember all the good that I brought out in him. Even after all the years of him seeing my crazy life unfold before his eyes, the one person he asked for was me. In that moment, I realized how much we both had changed over time. Everyone should be entitled to a second chance, and just like I had done exactly what that card said in the past, I needed to offer him the same. To this day he still loved me, and I him.

I picked up the keys from the tray on the dining room table and closed the door behind me. As I drove down the streets, there were so many things that reminded me of him and brought back memories from when we were young. I pulled into the driveway and walked up the path that led to the front door. Even though I expected him to not open the door, I knocked twice.

“Omar? It’s Maddy. Can we talk?”

He opened the door and our eyes met. He invited me in and closed the door behind him. I turned around to give him a hug but before I knew it his arms were already wrapped around me.

“Hey Maddy… Forever and Always. ”

“Forever and Always.”