A Life of Song and Silence

By Tim Law

Previously published in Sweety Cat Press

Sasha peered into the stage spotlight, squinting, plagued by an infestation of butterfly nerves. The stool that she sat upon was uncomfortable, one size fits none. The murmurs from the crowded bar were just that little bit too loud. Clutching her guitar like a security blanket the girl leaned forward and drew the microphone closer. She winced as the noisy feedback caught the attention of the room, and suddenly all eyes were on her.

“This one’s for you mom!” Sasha called out to the blinding light.

The guitar burst to life and the girl’s heavenly voice matched it perfectly.

As she played Sasha cast her mind back to the time after her operation, that time when she needed to learn to speak again. Sasha’s mother had always made sure that music featured predominantly in the Kelk household. She was the dreamer that was balanced out by her straight-laced husband. Sasha and her two younger brothers grew up with Bjork, Dido and Faith No More rattling the windows. The family home became a disco, a rock concert and a studio recording session all rolled into one. That was until daddy came home. At five each weekday and every weekend it was silence that ruled the roost.

“I don’t know how you can stand it?” asked a fourteen-year-old Sasha one Saturday morning.

She and mom were busy in the kitchen, Sasha helping her mother to make breakfast in bed for the rest of the family. The banging of pots and pans, the rhythm of the wooden spoon mixing, the ting of the oven timer, it had all reminded Sasha of one of the new songs that had been playing the day before. As Sasha had begun to hum her mother had given her a fearful look and brought her finger up to pursed lips.

“When you fall in love my darling…” Sasha’s mother began.

“Ewwww…” Sasha said straight away. “Boys!”

That had caused Sasha’s mom to smile, and the breakfast preparations had then continued in silence.

At the tender age of sixteen Sasha left that home and its long stretches of fearful silence. Just before the teen had celebrated her eighteenth birthday, Sasha received news that her mother had died. The bright spark in Sasha’s soul died too that day. She returned home to help her father raise the boys. With dad working from home there was no chance for music, only stifling silence.

Sasha was only twenty when her father found her on the floor of the kitchen. His rule of silence had driven her to try and cut her voice out. Luckily the damage she had done could be repaired, her father had rushed her to hospital and Sasha’s life had been saved.

“You will never, ever do anything like that again!” Sasha’s dad ordered.

Sasha had a little victory though when the vocal therapist ordered singing lessons.

“The lessons will help strengthen the vocal cords,” the therapist explained, and Sasha’s father had no choice but to agree.

The first time Sasha sang in front of her father her voice was still quite faint, but her mother had taught her how to hold a tune. The man who had demanded no noise for as long as Sasha could remember surprised his daughter. There was the initial shock of discovering her father standing in the doorway of her bedroom but after that initial moment Sasha noticed her father was crying.

“You remind me of your mother when we first started going out,” said Sasha’s dad. “Just like my mother around the same time…”

Before Sasha could ask the millions of questions swimming around in her mind the man vanished from sight.

“Don’t stop darling, we need more happiness in this home…” her dad called as Sasha heard him wander away.

And so, Sasha sang, for her mother and her brothers but also for her father and the man he used to be. As her voice grew stronger her spark reignited until one day…

“I have a friend who is looking for performers to play at his pub,” Sasha’s dad had told her. “I’ve signed you up to play this Saturday night.”

The light was too bright, the stool uncomfortable but Sasha had her guitar and her family in the crowd. That night she played and there was joy in her heart. It was the first time such a pure feeling filled her since her mum had gone. Sasha felt her mom there with her.

Together they sang, just like those times before. And just like before, it was beautiful.

Timothy Law is a writer of fantasy, horror, detective and general fiction from a little town in
Southern Australia called Murray Bridge. Currently working at the Murray Bridge Library he
has dreamed since high school of becoming a full-time author. His stories can be found at
http://somecallmetimmy.blogspot.com.au/ and https://academyoftheheartandmind.com/ other
online platforms.