Escaping the Shell

By Destiny Hankerson

Aretha walked down the shady pathway, right next to the park. As her Black hair blew in the wind, she smiled, feeling the sun rays against her face. It was a brand new morning, and Aretha felt blessed to experience it. 

Today, she was heading to the audition for her part in the off-Broadway play “There’s A New Day Coming”. She would play the role of Martina, a singer and songwriter who was returning to her craft after spending several years away from the stage. Aretha gravitated to Martina’s role – the actress was a passionate, creative woman, with an inner strength that defied her difficult circumstances. In many ways, Martina’s story reminded Aretha of her own life. 

Aretha had spent several years away from the stage, too. Those years were lost in a dysfunctional relationship with a man who tried to dominate every part of her life. She hadn’t realized it at the time, but her experience with him was similar to being locked away in a shell, far from the outside world.

Now, though, she was finally free. It was she who cut the ties, and it was she who escaped the shell. 

She was working hard to improve her acting skills. Although years of experience were under her belt, she knew she couldn’t just jump back into the acting world without practice. With her newfound freedom, she was able to devote hours to enhancing her acting abilities again.

Nevertheless, even though she was free from the relationship with her former partner, Jason, Aretha still faced some disapproving comments from a few of her friends. Many of them didn’t know about Jason’s controlling ways, and they still insisted she should try to make up with him. And Jason, who didn’t want to let Aretha go, would continually contact her on her phone. 

As she walked along to the audition, she heard the phone in her purse ring, and she heaved a sigh. With trepidation, Aretha picked it up and said, “Hello?” 

The voice on the other end wasn’t Jason’s, which was a relief to Aretha. It was her friend, Clara. Clara was one of Aretha’s oldest friends – they’d known each other since they were children growing up in the same African-American neighborhood in Trenton. Aretha felt comforted to hear Clara’s kind voice say, “Hi, Aretha, it’s me, Clara. Are you okay? I haven’t heard from you in a while.”

“Clara, I’m so sorry about that. I was… in a shell for a while,” replied Aretha in a low, quiet voice. “I couldn’t contact you. I’m really sorry about not staying in touch.”

“It’s okay, Aretha,” said Clara, in an understanding tone. “I just want to know if you’re okay.”

Aretha smiled and said peacefully, “I feel much better than I did before. Much better!”

She paused for a moment, and then she continued speaking hurriedly, hoping to get the truth out of the way before anyone judged her.

“I had to leave Jason,” she said. “I just couldn’t stay in that relationship anymore. I couldn’t even leave the house without him following me. He didn’t want to let me out of his sight. I felt completely trapped. And yet he called that love.”

Clara listened, and Aretha went on, “Please, don’t tell me that I need to go back to him. Don’t tell me it was wrong to leave and that he’s missing me. Even if he is missing me, I just can’t go back to how things were before. I missed acting in musicals and plays so much. I missed climbing up to the stage and letting loose with all my favorite songs. I missed bringing a character to life when I played a role. Now I’m free, and I want to stay that way.”

Aretha held her breath. She was a little afraid of what Clara’s response would be, but Clara’s words came to her like a breath of fresh air.

“Aretha, I didn’t know you were going through all of that pain with Jason! It wasn’t right at all, and you didn’t deserve any of that suffering. Of course, I wouldn’t tell you to go back to him, especially when you’re so happy and free now. You don’t have to go back. You should be free to live your life on your own terms. You don’t need to stay in that shell!” Clara responded.

Aretha’s eyes filled with tears of relief. She said, “Thank you so much, Clara. This means everything to me. I’m so glad you understand.”

“Aw, you’re welcome, Aretha. It’s no problem. I just want you to be happy,” Clara replied. 

They talked for a little longer, and then as Aretha came near the audition building, a little theater space in the city. When she walked into the audition room, she saw the director, Angel Marks, who greeted her with a smile. 

“Aretha, I think I remember hearing about you in the acting world years ago,” said Angel. “You were one of the best actresses I’d seen. I’m glad you’re coming here again to try out your role for the play!”

“Thanks so much,” replied Aretha, flushing. She was surprised that anyone remembered her at all, but Angel’s welcoming smile made her feel much more at home. She remembered Jason telling her that everyone would forget about her time in acting, and that if she ever tried to return to the stage, people would just laugh at her or turn away. 

“But that doesn’t seem to be true at all,” Aretha thought. Her doubts were already beginning to fade away. 

Then she stood up at her full height – she was almost six feet tall – and she began her audition. In Martina’s role, Aretha threw herself into the singer’s life, completely embodying the character of the woman returning to the stage. Aretha knew Martina was powerful, deeply intense, and ecstatic about her comeback, and Aretha channeled those emotions in her performance. 

When she finished her audition, she glanced at the director, Angel. Angel was gazing at her in amazement, and her eyes were filled with delight. 

“Aretha, that was absolutely incredible!” she cried. “You did a beautiful audition.”

Aretha felt so excited and happy, she hopped up and down. 

“I’ll call you in for rehearsals next week,” said Angel. “I think you’re the perfect fit for this play. You really brought Martina to life.”

Aretha was full of gratitude. “Thank you so much, Angel,” she said. “I don’t take this for granted. It’s been a long time since I’ve been on the stage. But I’m grateful to be back.”

As Aretha walked home, she gazed up at the evening sky. A smile shone on her face. Now, she was grateful she’d chosen to step out of her shell. She could have hidden away, never letting her talent sparkle on the stage again, but now she was able to explore all the world could offer her. 

“And I will never hide in the shell again,” Aretha thought.

Destiny Hankerson is a tennis player, artist, writer, and musician. She grew up with a love for writing and the creative arts, and she continues to create new stories, songs, and artwork that express her imagination. Her favorite part about creating art is how it brings her inner world to life. She enjoys experimenting with different mediums and genres for her art.