Getting Better

By Sophia Williams

“Good morning, Via.”  

“Good morning, Doctor Molloy.”  

“So, Via, how are you feeling today?”  

“I’m feeling the same as yesterday, and the same as the day before that, and the day before that. It’s always the same feeling every day—it never changes.”  

“Okay, I hear you. And how does that make you feel, knowing that your feelings don’t change each day?”  

“It used to upset me, but now I feel so used to it that I feel numb. I don’t care about how I feel anymore. It’s like it doesn’t matter. I just cope and exist, never feeling better—always just the same.”  

“I understand. What did you eat for breakfast today?”  

“I had what was served on my plan: two eggs, a slice of white toast, and a cup of mixed fruit—I think it was strawberries and bananas. I also had a cup of orange juice, and I finished the whole meal. Then it was time to take my meds, and I had no problem taking them today.”  

“Okay, that’s great. I’m happy to hear you finished the meal this morning. What did you work on in group today? Did you share anything?”  

“We did coloring today. I colored a picture of some lilies. I also opened up about how I felt being here for two weeks now.”  

“What are your feelings after being here for two weeks?”  

“I feel stuck. I wish I was getting better. Why do I not feel better yet? Aren’t I supposed to get better here? Why do I wake up in my same old sterile room every day and feel the same as when I would wake up at home?”  

“Because, Via, working on ourselves can take a long time. There’s no set time limit for self-improvement.”  

“I get that, but I woke up feeling like a weighted blanket was laid over my chest. I feel more depressed and anxious than normal. I’m sad that I’m missing out on the world, and it makes me worried I won’t be the same when I leave here—like I’ll have missed out on so much.”  

“You’re not missing out on anything. You’re here to work on yourself and get better.”  

“Yes, Doctor Molloy, I understand that, but I want to feel better now. I want to go home and see my friends.”  

“I understand that. How are your meds working out for you today?”  

“They seem to be working fine, I think. I don’t really know what I’m supposed to be feeling on them, but I think they’re working.”  

“That’s great. Sometimes it can take a month to adjust to your meds. We’re going to up your dosage this week and see if that helps you more.”  

“Okay.”  

“Is there anything else you want to share with me today?”  

“When can I get more visitation with my friends? I miss them!”  

“I understand you miss them, but, Via, you need to show more participation in your group before you can get more visitation hours.”  

“I do participate in group! What did the nurse tell you?”  

“They said you typically only say one sentence and that’s about it. You need to be more active and show that you want to be here.”  

“But I don’t want to be here! Why don’t you get that?”  

“You do want to be here—you’ll see that in the future. We’re out of time today, Via. I’ll see you tomorrow. Have a great day.”  

“Yeah, you too, Doctor Molloy.” 

Sophia Williams is a fiction writer from Massachusetts, USA. She focuses on stories that delve into complex emotional struggles and darker themes, exploring the resilience of the human spirit within challenging, introspective settings.