Selflessness Shows Love

By Michaela Dimitrov

Work ends, and Michaela walks a quick 20 minutes to her boyfriend, LJ’s, house. She hates walking alone in the dark, so she decides to stay on a call with LJ to keep her company. It’s not the same, but it’s better than nothing.

They begin talking about each other’s days. She tells him how work wasn’t busy at all, and she’s surprised the bubble tea shop hasn’t run out of business yet. As they talk, LJ plays Fortnite, making her feel like he doesn’t care to pay attention to their conversation.

“Hey. Do you love me?” She blurts out.

“Yes, of course, I still love you. Don’t worry about it.” LJ reassures.

“Mmm. Ok. But that’s not enough reassurance.” 

“What do you mean? What do you want me to say?”

“I don’t know. But that wasn’t enough.” she pouts.

“Well, if you don’t know what to say, then how am I supposed to?” LJ laughs.

“Whatever. It’s fine, don’t worry about it.” she drops the topic.

She makes it to his house, and they have fun for the rest of the night.

***

A few days later, LJ and Michaela talk over the phone as usual. LJ lays on his bed – the type that sucks you in – with his phone in hand. On the other end, she lays in her sturdy bed. It’s late, and they should be asleep by now, but they decide to stay up and talk to each other. Their laughter fills the cold night air. The heater in Michaela’s room transforms the atmosphere, placing her in front of a fireplace and admiring the heavy snowfall in the night sky. Talking to LJ at the end of the day is her favourite way to unwind. He always ensures she gets everything off her chest so she doesn’t sleep in a bad mood.

“Hey, I just remembered. I needed to ask you something important.” LJ interrupts the brief silence.

“Yeah? What’s up?”

“You asked me to give you more reassurance. I was trying to do that, but every time I did, you said that it wasn’t enough. So I’m wondering, what is the proper way to reassure you?” LJ calmly asks.

She assesses his voice. There’s no anger or frustration, just pure confusion. 

“Oh! I didn’t realize I did that every time.” After some thinking, she finds a solution. “The reassurance you gave didn’t directly fix what I was worried about. Sure, I needed it because I didn’t feel loved, but you didn’t contradict the problem. I was feeling ignored, and you didn’t comfort me. For example, let’s say I was worrying about my looks. I need you to tell me why I’m pretty. First, you need to answer my question. You simply need to say, ‘Yes, you are pretty.’ Then you have to give me reasons. Tell me why you think so. And finally, if there’s something specific I’m worried about, then you have to go against it. So if I say I’m not pretty because I feel fat, then you need to say that I’m skinny and prove it.”

“Ok. Let me try it with a different example. If you come up to me and say, ‘I feel really bad and stupid for not being productive today.’ First, I should say that you aren’t stupid and shouldn’t feel bad. Then I’ll list reasons, like how you always get good grades, do a lot of work, and are not behind in your classes. If you give me a reason why you still think you are, for example, ‘I didn’t stick to my plan and finish my to-do list today.’ I have to contradict that by saying, ‘You have time to do it tomorrow.’ Did I get that right?” LJ clarified.

“Yes! That was perfect. That was amazing.”

Michaela’s smile grows as she feels like he wants to improve for her. Now, when she feels bad, she has faith that LJ can reassure her properly and fix the problem. 

“Ok. It’s time to go to sleep now.” LJ declares.

“Ok. Good night, cutie.”

After ending the call, LJ lays in bed, reflecting on himself. He realizes that he needs to change how he talks. Instead of saying, ‘I can’t do it,’ he could say, ‘I’ll try to do it.’ He knows it will make her feel more loved. He continues to look at it from her perspective to understand why saying ‘I can’t do something’ doesn’t help. Then, he tries to implement his personality into the reassurance formula. He decides to be more mindful of how some words sound to her. Finally, he realizes that Michaela wants him to follow the formula. He knows he has to so she can be reassured. He learns that being selfless is important to make her happy and loved.

***

At his place, LJ plays video games while Michaela is alone on the bed. She already tried starting a conversation with him three times, but he always had a dry reply.

“Hey cutie, do you love me?” She pouts.

“Yes, of course I do. I love you because you’re awesome and helpful all the time.” LJ pauses the game and comes over to me.

“Aw! Really?” She gives puppy dog eyes.

“Yes, of course.” LJ smiles and pulls her into a hug.

“But why? Are you sure? Am I really that helpful?” She goes on.

“Yeah. Today, you packed food for me. And you helped clean my room. Of course, you’re helpful.” LJ gives her a forehead kiss.

She snuggles in his arms. The warmth comforts her as she gently doses off into a nap.

Michaela Dimitrov is university student at University of Toronto doing a major in professional writing and communication. She loves to write short stories. All of her stories are about romance because it’s her biggest interest.