I Looked For You

By Saira Rashid Parvez

I  lay bare getting stitched on the gurney as
They placed you into my arms.

You looked the epitome of love in flesh form.
I could not wait to take you home.

Your eyes twinkled resembling the stars.
My heart overwhelmed with peace.
The sun glistened through the window and 
the air tasted sweet as you and I fell asleep.

At 3 a.m., I awoke by the burst of nurses 
rushing into the room. The atmosphere dropped
Instantaneously as she looked at me with a sombre 
expression.

At the mortuary, 
Your skin still fragrant 
You lay still 
Give me one more minute, I whimpered .

The silence that followed was deafening
 I hugged you, so tight my heartbeat felt 
 Like yours.

In my grief, I looked for you in the laughter of
a one year old ,tantrums of a five .I looked for you 
In the playground every time I drove by.

But I will never find you will I?
Not here and not there.
Perhaps in another lifetime I could be privileged 
to hear you laugh, throw tantrums and run madly 
In the park .

Until then,
I will keep unburying you until one day 
you start breathing again .

Saira Rashid Khan is a poet based in Johannesburg, South Africa. Her work delves into the intricacies of the human experience and anything that ignites her passion to write. Connect with her on Instagram @saiiirrraaaa, TikTok @saiiirrraaaa, and Twitter @Sairaaparvez.