Still in My Eyes and Winter Gifts

By Elbina Batala Rafizadeh

Still in My Eyes

Where are the hummingbirds?
And the finch, sparrow, and bunting birds?
Ever present during the storms,
waiting in the pineapple guava bushes 
as if waiting for a pause in the downpour
before flitting to the birdfeeder.

Where are they now?
My companions during my
breakfast of tea and sweet bread,
their morning display of 
wings fluttering to the feeder 
for peanuts, berries, and seeds.

Storms have receded, 
now sunny mornings, without wind 
Are they lingering on
other seed-bearing bushes
in other gardens, or are they
taking refuge beneath the eaves?

Red and yellow finch return,
not in a rush, allowing me to
hold them still in my eyes, 
as I hold my breath, knowing 
that they may not return again
until next winter.

I wonder. Do they share a 
silent language with the
sparrows and bunting birds, 
hidden in the chirp, tweet, and whistle?

Light arrives later now. Am I early? 
I will refill my teacup and wait to see
what the rest of the morning will bring.

Not the finch or sparrow, but Anna’s
Hummingbird fluttering wings blur
as if motionless while she drinks the fuchsia nectar
before flying to the sage bush. 

Does she know I am holding her 
still in my eyes, not knowing when she will return. 

Inspired by garden meditations 

January/February 2023

Winter Gifts

A bare guava branch
a red-breasted finch chirping
sweet melody

A chilly, foggy morn
warmed by the soft harmony
such serenity

Then, a surprise gift
mid-day sun kisses my cheek
Love’s eternity.

Inspired by garden meditation

Around Valentine’s day, 2021

Elbina Batala Rafizadeh, Ph.D is a semi-retired nurse educator who immigrated from the Philippines with her family when she was seven. With more time on her hands, she now enjoys hiking, gardening, and photography, where she discovers her inspiration for poetry, essays, and short stories. Her life-long love for writing has led her to become a Cal-Poet teacher with publications in Transitions Abroad, Filipinas, Our Own Voice (Filipino/a anthology), phren-z, and Journal X. She now lives in Santa Cruz, California, with her three diverse pups, Toon, Sage, and Ash.