Pink Skates and Flashing Signs

By Nancy Machlis Rechtman

Zoe parked near the back door of the thrift shop. The key felt like a burning coal against her chest, but she had made a promise. Her roommate Jenna had left it for her, pleading with her to run over to the store and grab the bag she had left in the back room with the embroidered denim jacket that she had bought for herself but forgot to load in her car. Jenna had headed out of town with her boyfriend Liam for the weekend and she was afraid the jacket would be gone when she returned on Monday. She told Zoe where she had left the key. “I promise I’ll make you my famous croissants every week for a month if you’ll do this for me. Please,” Jenna had begged. Zoe had grabbed the key, threaded it onto the lanyard that held a small, metallic skate key – although the skates had long ago disappeared – and hurried to the shop with the lanyard around her neck.

The scent of fabric softener and old books filled the air. Zoe thought she knew the layout well but being there at night with only her flashlight lighting the way, she found herself walking into displays and almost knocking over one of the mannequins at the end of an aisle. This was kind of crazy, since she was the one who had designed it. But of course that was when all the lights were on. A few months ago, Jenna had pleaded with Tyler, the owner, to let her friend re-do the store with a more quirky, unique aesthetic, instead of the boring rows of clothing hanging on racks and old dishes displayed on cheap bookcases. She had finally received a provisional yes, and Zoe had filled the floor with mannequins at the end of every other aisle, wearing the clothes that were for sale, draped with accessories, looking like they were actually using the pots and pans from the racks, or the suitcases, or sitting on the furniture and reading the books that were for sale. Zoe was so grateful to her friend for getting her the work. She was freelancing as an illustrator at a local publishing house, but she was always glad to pick up extra jobs that let her creative side run wild. Plus, the proceeds from the thrift store went to the local women’s shelter and Zoe was grateful she could give back in any small way she could.

Her mind flashed back to a different city and a different time. And a house where she never felt safe. She heard screaming. Things breaking. Her mother pleading with her father not to have another drink. Her mother falling. Zoe racing over to her and being shoved aside by her father. Her mother trying to get up. Crying. Her father storming out of the house. And the next thing Zoe remembered was her mother’s face, swollen and black and blue. And the next thing she remembered was they weren’t at the house anymore but in a strange place with a lot of other women and children. And she and her mother were in a small, plain bedroom together but shared a bathroom and a kitchen with other families. Her mother had brought some of their clothes and told Zoe she could take one toy. Zoe had tried to decide between her favorite baby doll that cried when she was hungry, or her stuffed puppy dog named Woofy. Her mother had gotten upset because Zoe took so long to decide and she had raised her voice, telling Zoe to hurry up or she wouldn’t be able to take either one. Zoe had started crying. Her mother scooped her up in a hug. “Oh, sweetie, I’m so sorry I yelled, but we have to hurry and leave before Daddy gets home so you have to decide right now, OK? There’s no time to stand here and think about it, we’ve got to go!”   So she grabbed Woofy – and as her mom ran out of the room, she grabbed her pink roller skates and stuffed them quickly into her backpack – and her mother grabbed the suitcase that held their clothes and they ran out of the house. Zoe never saw her baby doll or her house or her father ever again. But whenever Zoe felt sad, her mother would tell her that they were safe now and soon they would start over and have a whole new life.

Zoe and her mother lived at the shelter for several months until Zoe’s mother was able to find a job in Los Angeles where one of her cousins lived. The cousin, Sarah, invited Zoe and her mom to stay with her until they could find an apartment. The day they left the shelter, Zoe felt like she was losing everything all over again. But her mother told her stories about California and the palm trees and movie stars and the beautiful beaches and soon, Zoe was filled with excitement as they boarded the bus to start their new lives.

Sarah had been married to a wonderful man and had a long, happy marriage. But a few years earlier he had been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and passed away soon after. And now, Sarah lived alone – or to be accurate, no other humans lived there. Her house was like a menagerie filled with dogs, cats, birds, fish, and hamsters. Zoe was fascinated by all the animals living in one house. It was noisy, too, but Zoe didn’t mind. Her mom, however, needed more peace and quiet. She started her job as a secretary at a large bank and was gone most of the day every day. Zoe helped Sarah feed and take care of all the animals. Plus, Sarah had a large garden where she grew not only flowers but all kinds of vegetables. And she had a tree in the front yard that produced the sweetest plums Zoe had ever tasted. Zoe learned to garden and soon how to cook as well. She loved living with Sarah. There was a long driveway that led into a cul-de-sac and Zoe finally had a place to roller skate again. She spent many afternoons skating up and down the driveway and all around the cul-de-sac. But after a few months, Zoe’s mom made an announcement. “I’ve found an apartment for us not far from Sarah’s house, so we’ll be moving at the end of the month.”

“But Mama!” Zoe cried. “I love it here, I don’t want to leave Sarah.” Her mother promised they would have fun together in their own place. And Zoe could decorate her bedroom however she wanted. But the best part would be that while her mom was at work, Zoe could still spend each day with Sarah at her house. So Zoe was happy and her mom was happy. And for a while, everyone was happy.

Zoe’s mom soon began to date. She didn’t usually bring the men home if Zoe was there. But she would get all dolled up on the weekends and tell Zoe excitedly that since she had plans that night – she always said “plans,” not that she had a date – she was going to let Zoe spend the night at Sarah’s, and she’d pick her up the next morning. Sarah had become like a grandmother to Zoe, giving her the affection and stability she craved, so Zoe always looked forward to those nights.

As the years went by, it became apparent that Zoe had an artistic gift, and she was always drawing or painting, often working on pictures of Sarah’s animals, as well as her gardens and all the beauty surrounding them. Sarah hung Zoe’s paintings all over the house, making Zoe proud. Zoe’s mom even put a few up in their apartment, exclaiming over her daughter’s talent.

“These are wonderful, honey,” Zoe’s mom said sincerely. “You’re really talented.”

“Thanks, Mom,” Zoe said, a little embarrassed.

“No, I mean it. I think you need to consider going into an artistic field. Maybe go to college for doing design or something like that.”

“We can’t afford college, Mom,” Zoe reminded her mother for the millionth time.

“You can go to community college and work part-time,” her mother said defensively. She paused. “Don’t throw your life away like I did.”

Zoe stared at her mother. “Do you really think you threw your life away?” she asked in a small voice.

Her mother started. “Oh honey, I didn’t mean by having you! Oh my gosh, you’re the best thing that ever happened in my life! No, I meant marrying your father when I was so young since I wanted to be out on my own. I didn’t realize what I was getting myself into. I missed the signs.”

“But you got us out,” Zoe reminded her.

Her mother nodded her head. “But I also had dreams,” she said softly. “I loved art, too. I dreamed of being a designer. Not a secretary in a bank.”

Zoe felt tears welling in her eyes, and she fought them back, not wanting her mother to see her cry. “It’s not too late,” she said. “You’re still young. You can go to community college to learn design and still have your dream.”

Zoe’s mom gently caressed her daughter’s face. “You’re so young,” she said. 

“Well, why not?” Zoe asked. “Let’s go together! We can both study design.”

 “This is your time now, not mine. This is what I want for you – go out and make me happy. And maybe you can even find a nice boy while you’re at it. Just make sure he is what he appears to be. Don’t screw up like I did.”

Zoe went over to talk to Sarah later that evening. Her mother, as usual, had “plans” and Zoe wanted to ask Sarah’s advice about her next step, now that she was a high-school senior.

Sarah had made a delicious pasta dish with fresh veggies and herbs from her garden. The scent of the basil, garlic, and oregano wafted through the kitchen and Zoe almost drooled. Sarah had set a place for Zoe who finally sat down after greeting all the animals who were barking and mewing for her attention.

“So what do you think?” Zoe asked, sighing in contentment after finishing the last bit of garlic sauce on her plate with the heel of the sourdough bread that had accompanied the meal.

 “It doesn’t matter what I think, sweetheart. It’s what does your heart tell you?”

Zoe thought for a moment. “My heart says I need to not make the mistakes my mom made. My heart says go to school and live my dream.”

“Then do it. But don’t do it because you don’t want to turn out like your mother. Do it because you’re reaching for something you’ll love, that will make you happy”

But about a month later, Zoe’s mom dropped a bombshell. She announced that she had fallen in love with Grant, her current boyfriend, and he was being transferred to San Francisco and she was going with him. “But don’t worry, darling,” she quickly added. “You can still stay here now that you’re 18, and I’ll sublet the apartment to you so you don’t have to move anywhere. In fact, you should probably get a roommate to keep you company. And the sublet will just be a formality, you won’t have to pay anything of course. And Sarah is just a few miles away if you need anything. But it’s time for you to spread your wings, at least a little bit, and try to fly on your own.”

Zoe was speechless. Her mother was leaving? And Zoe was going to be on her own. Yes, of course Sarah was nearby. And her mother was hardly home at all anymore. But still, at 18, she was being set adrift, to chart her own course with very little help or guidance.

Zoe’s mother stayed in Los Angeles until the day after Zoe graduated from high school. “I love you,” she said as she put her suitcase in the trunk of Grant’s white convertible and gave Zoe a hug. “I’ll text you from the road.”

Zoe nodded, trying not to let her mother see her sadness. “Have a safe trip,” she managed to say.

“Come on, Meg,” Grant said with a note of irritation in his voice. “We’ve got a long road ahead of us. Zoe will be fine, won’t you, kid?”

Zoe stood straighter. “I’ll be fine. Don’t you worry about me.”

“I’m proud of you,” her mother said, her voice vanishing with the wind as Grant put the pedal to the metal.

Zoe’s routine didn’t change much once her mother left. She worked all summer with her best friend, Jenna, at a vegetarian restaurant in West Hollywood. Jenna loved to bake and she was always experimenting, making all kinds of pastries for them. Zoe moaned that she was going to gain at least 20 pounds from hanging out with her friend that summer.

Jenna was visiting Zoe one day and they were sitting on the couch, watching TV, when Jenna turned to her friend, a serious look on her face.

“What?” Zoe said, recognizing that look.

“I was thinking,” Jenna started. “I was thinking that if you ever thought you might want a roommate maybe it would be fun if I moved in with you. I talked to my parents and they said they’d help towards the rent money, and they think it’s a great idea. We could have much fun, Zoe. And think of the guys. Any day, any time.” She giggled.

Zoe started to laugh. “First of all, there is no rent, my mom pays the rent on this place, so the main things you’d have to contribute to would be the utilities, cable, Internet, and then food. And as far as guys go, I only wish. You know that I haven’t seen anyone since Craig and I broke up. And we were barely a thing anyway. My parents did a real number on me as far as my ability to have and sustain a real relationship.”

“I’m sorry, Zoe,” Jenna said. “One day you’ll meet your soulmate. Meanwhile though, you need to learn to have fun. And do what makes you smile.”

Jenna moved in a week later. Zoe realized how happy she was to have her best friend living with her. It was almost like a real college experience. When school started at the end of summer, they both quit their jobs at the restaurant. Jenna took some food-related classes at one of the community colleges while Zoe studied design at another. And Jenna began working part time at a nearby thrift store while Zoe found a part-time job doing illustrations for a small publishing house. She hoped one day to be able to illustrate full time since she found she really loved it.

And then Jenna met Liam in one of their classes and she told Zoe that he was the one. It was like the movies, like lightning had hit them both. And so, Liam became part of their lives, showing up for dinner, joining them for movies, and often staying for multiple nights in a row. Zoe found that she really liked Liam, but she also often felt that she was becoming a third wheel in her own home. Sarah told her that as long as no one was being hurt by the relationship, it would be best to make do with the situation since she didn’t want to lose Jenna’s friendship. 

“I know you’re hurting, sweetie. I know you long for someone to love. It will come one day. You’ll know. Your heart won’t be able to beat normally. Your breath will catch. You’ll feel hot and cold all at once. And there will be a sign. A sign that he’s the one. And you won’t ever have to wonder again,” Sarah promised.

But Zoe often wondered just how broken she was, if she would ever find a guy who could love her without hurting her, and what kind of sign would assure her that it was real love and not just raging hormones.

Zoe was thrilled when Jenna convinced her boss to let her very talented friend re-do the thrift store in an unusual and unique way. Tyler was actually very nice, and he told Zoe to go for it. And when sales soon doubled, he told her he’d like her to continue to work her magic, as he liked to say. 

And now, after making her way into the thrift store like a thief in the night, Zoe was about to head to the back room to pick up Jenna’s jacket and leave when suddenly all of the lights flicked on. She was temporarily blinded and put her hands up to shield her eyes. Her heart pounded since she had no idea how to explain to the police – if that’s who it was – why she was there in the dark. And if it was an intruder, she had no way to protect herself. She might just have to try to run for it. Her whole body tensed as she started sidling towards the door.

“Stop!” came a commanding male voice.

She hesitated for a moment.

“Zoe? Is that you?”

Zoe knew that voice. She squinted trying to see who it was. And then she realized it was Tyler, moving slowly towards her. “Tyler?” she said, somewhat inanely. She felt her heart slowing down.

“Zoe, what in the world are you doing here? I saw someone was in here on the camera I recently installed, and I figured I’d better come down and see what was happening.”

Zoe put her hand to her chest. “You gave me a fright!” she said.

A small smile crept across Tyler’s face. “A fright? Are we in a Jane Austen novel?”

“Oh, Tyler, let me explain,” she said. And she told him about Jenna forgetting the jacket she had purchased and left in the back room and how she had begged Zoe to run down and get it before someone else found it and bought it. And she added that Jenna had promised to bake unlimited croissants for the next month if Zoe helped her.

“Please, I don’t want her to get in trouble,” Zoe pleaded. “She just loves that jacket so much.”

Tyler’s face was unreadable. Finally, he said, “I’ll tell you what. If I can get in on the croissant deal, all is forgiven.” Then he smiled for real. A kind, lopsided smile that made Zoe’s heart suddenly do a samba.

“I have connections,” she said. “I’m sure something can be arranged.” And then she took a step backwards and almost fell over something in the aisle. Tyler grabbed her elbow before she crashed to the ground.

“Are you OK?” he asked.

“I’m fine,” she assured him. “Just trying to reclaim my dignity.” She looked down to see what she had tripped over. Tyler bent down to remove the offending blockage. He rose, holding a pair of skates.

“Skates!” Zoe gasped. “And they’re pink!”

“Yes, and I have no idea what they were doing in the middle of the aisle. Somebody could have tripped and killed themselves.”

“I almost did,” Zoe said shakily. “May I see them?”

Tyler handed the skates to her. Zoe examined them and then slowly pulled at the key that was hanging from her neck and inserted it into one of the skates. It turned. Zoe suddenly couldn’t breathe.

“Zoe, what is it? Do you want to sit down?” Tyler asked, grabbing her arm.

“Do you believe in signs?” she asked.

“What kind of signs?” he asked. “Like stop signs? Street signs? Danger signs?”

“I take it that’s a no,” she said.

“Not necessarily,” he said. 

“Well, I wasn’t sure that I did,” she said. “But maybe I do now.”

“Is there a sign pointing you towards somewhere we can go get a bite to eat?” he asked. “I’m starving. Want to join me?”

Zoe didn’t hesitate. “I’m starving, too. I just need to grab Jenna’s jacket as I’m pretty sure I’ve already mentioned, and now I need to hide these skates from the public until you open on Monday so I can buy them, and then if you want, there’s a cool little café a few blocks down.”

“It’s my favorite,” Tyler said.

“It just opened,” Zoe grinned. “How is it already your favorite?”

“It will be my favorite after tonight,” Tyler said.

“Do you skate?” Zoe asked as they walked towards the back of the store.

“If you’re asking if I’ll go with you to the Roller Rink Friday night when they have Oldies Night, I might be free,” he said.

“Oldies Night is my favorite,” Zoe said.

“Mine, too,” Tyler said.

Zoe stared at him. “I guess that’s a yes,” she said.

“It’s a definite yes,” Tyler smiled.

Nancy Machlis Rechtman has had poetry and short stories published in Your Daily Poem, Writing In A Woman’s Voice, Impspired, Discretionary Love, Fresh Words, The Writing Disorder, Young Ravens, and more. Nancy has had poetry, essays, and plays published in various anthologies. She wrote freelance Lifestyle stories for a local newspaper, and she was the copy editor for another paper. She writes a blog called Inanities at https://nancywriteon.wordpress.com.