By Marvel Pephel
Maryann is a flight attendant. No, Maryann used to be. She just resigned two days ago – you may later ponder if “resign” should be the appropriate verb here. Let me take you first to the likes of Maryann. Maryann likes books; Maryann likes peppersoup, periwinkle and peppered snails. Maryann could be your sweet sister, that one that wants to make you happy all day. But no, Maryann will not tolerate your foibles if she holds you in high esteem. That’s Maryann! Let’s rewind to when Maryann was a flight attendant (and how she did become).
Maryann works for Kwin Airlines. Before landing this seemingly amazing job, she has been dealt heavy punches by life. She has watched her family suffer as a result of poverty. Maryann, like she used to say, can “teach you Hunger 401”. She often says, “I am a professor in the course, don’t ever argue with me.” No one has ever wedged a successful argument against Maryann. So in a quest to find a better life, she applied for the limited position of a flight attendant at Kwin Airlines. How she got to know about the job opportunity is a miracle in itself. By stroke of chance, she slept her way into the job. Her luck came glittering when on a hot Sunday afternoon she overslept in the bus she boarded. By oversleeping, she passed her destination. By oversleeping, she had to be woken up by the conductor and driver of the bus. She woke up with a start and demanded to know what charm or juju they had used on her that made her to miss her destination. They had stopped her at a gas station and were in a hurry to get a refill.
“What did you two do to me?” she demands to know.
The bus conductor, fuming with impatience and anger, drew her out of the bus and she almost falls to the ground. “Wetin dey do this one? You dey suffer from sleeping sickness? Please, pay us our money!”
Maryann, still trying to maintain a centre of gravity: “Do you want to injure me?” How much is even the money?”
“One hundred and fifty naira,” replies the impatient conductor.
“What?! Are you joking?!”
“Okay, when you were enjoying the ride you didn’t know?”
“This is not where I was supposed to stop, I have to board another bus that will take me back.”
“Tell that to the petrol we burnt. Please, pay us our money.”
The driver pays for the refill he has just gotten and gets ready to enter his bus. “Oya, make we go.”
“Oga, she never pay o!” the bus conductor tells him.
“Olorun!” exclaims the driver. “Please, passenger, what is your problem? Pay us, we don’t have time to waste.”
“Please, I can’t pay one hundred and fifty naira. I can only pay eighty naira.”
“No, it can’t be eighty naira!” the driver corrects. “That should have been the fee but not anymore, not after you reached this place. Please pay us fast, you are wasting our time.”
“I don’t have a hundred and fifty naira, please collect eighty naira.”
“What kind of witchcraft is this?!” barks the conductor. “Pay us make we leave here, which kin’ nonsense be this?”
“But I don’t have…”
“Hey, what’s the problem?” a man on white tuxedo asks.
“Tell this girl with puff puff cheeks to pay us!” says the impatient bus conductor.
“My lady, what is the problem?” the man asks in a polite manner.
“I overslept in the bus and missed my destination. They want me to pay more than I can afford to pay. I can’t give them a hundred and fifty naira, I know…”
“It’s alright!” interrupted the gentleman. “Driver, here’s two hundred naira. You can keep the change.” He hands the driver the money.
The conductor collects the money quickly and tells the driver to start the bus.
“Thank you, sir!” Maryann says, genuflecting.
“It’s nothing. Everyone gets into trouble once in a while. What is your name?”
“Maryann, sir!”
“Okay, where do you live? I can drop you off.”
“Really?” Maryann asks, a luminous smile adorning her face.
“Yes. That’s my car over there. Come!”
“Oh, thank you. That’s quite kind of you. So there are still good people in this world?”
“I don’t know if I am really good. Here, enter!” He holds the door open for Maryann.
“Of course, you are!”
“Okay then, thank you.” He closes the door and goes for the driver’s seat. “Where do you live?”
“I live at 60 Mangrove Street off Zinga Road.”
“It’s alright, I’ll take you there.”
“Thank you, sir.”
“It’s nothing.” He starts the car and swerves into the road. “What kind of job does a beautiful girl like you do?”
“I am a sales girl. I work in a supermarket.”
“Oh, that’s good.” he replies, looking at the rear-view mirror.
“Really?”
“Well, it is better than nothing.”
“Okay, that sounds logical. I am sorry if it offends you, what is your name?”
“Seth.” He swerves into the street by the left.
“Okay.” Maryann replies, looking at him carefully.
“Mangrove Street is after this street, right?”
“Yes.”
“Good. When we get to 60 Mangrove, please tell me.”
“Okay, sir.”
“And by the way, won’t you like to work in an airport?”
“Airport? Ah, I will appreciate that.”
“It’s alright. Here’s my card, call me whenever you are free.”
“Thank you, sir!” Maryann replies as she collects the card from him. “Thank you for your immense kindness. God bless you.”
“It’s alright. We all need help sometimes.”
“There, there! No. 60 Mangrove Street is by that corner.”
“Okay. You are finally home, isn’t it?” Mr. Seth asks, smiling.
“Yes, it is. Thank you so much, I have never experienced this sort of kindness. May God bless you.”
“It’s alright.” Mr. Seth says and stops in front of a green gate. “My regards to your parents.”
“Alright, and take care.” Maryann says before stepping out of the car. “I’ll call you.”
“That’s good. Till then.” He makes a U-turn and Maryann waves him a goodbye.
***
Under a star-lit Tuesday night, and with the company of fireflies, Maryann proceeds to call the kind Mr. Seth. She sits under the mango tree in their compound and crosses her legs. By sitting under the mango tree, at the spot where she is, she finds herself facing their house’s patio. On this patio sits her often absentminded grandfather. Her grandfather’s face is revealed momentarily by a flicker of light from inside the house and just then, Mr. Seth picks her third call.
“Hello. Good evening, sir.”
“Good evening. Who’s on the line?”
“Oh, sir, it’s me! It’s Maryann!”
“Maryann?”
“Yes, Maryann from 60 Mangrove Street.”
“60 Mangrove Street?”
“You dropped me off on Sunday, don’t you remember?”
“60 Mangrove Street? I can’t remem…oh, Maryann! How are you?”
“I am fine, sir!”
“I almost couldn’t remember. How are you? How are your people?”
“Fine, sir! We are all fine, sir!”
“That’s good. You called with regards to the airport job, right?”
“Yes, sir! Is it still available?”
Just then, the call gets disconnected. Embarrassed, Maryann looks at the screen of her phone. She sighs and curses: “This damn phone, this damn phone again. Always going off without being switched off. I really need to buy a new phone.” She brings out the battery, taps it furiously and returns it to where it belongs. She switches the phone on again and proceeds to dial Mr. Seth’s number again.
“Hello, sir! It is still Maryann. I am sorry about the first call being disconnected, my phone is faulty.”
“Is alright, I don’t want to waste your airtime. Meet me at the same gas station where we met. Call me by ten a.m. tomorrow, I’ll come and pick you up. Make sure you dress nice and decent.”
“Okay, sir! Thank you, sir! God bless you, sirl”
“It’s nothing. Tomorrow then.”
“Okay, sir. Thank you. Good night, sir.”
“Alright, good night.”
Maryann disconnects the call and gasps in excitement. “Thank you, Lord! Thank you, father!”
“What is it, Maryann?” her grandfather asks in a low-pitched tone.
“Nothing, papa.” she replies and rubs the old man’s shoulder. “Have you eaten your food?”
“Yes. Yes.”
“Okay. Let me go inside for a while.”
“Okay. Okay, just go.”
Maryann dances as she goes in, peeking at the firefly cupped in her hand.
***
The next day. Maryann wears her blue bell-bottoms and white long-sleeve top and goes to meet Mr. Seth. She, of course, does not not forget to apply her perfume; and so she oozes with flamboyance and confidence as she leaves home for the gas station. Mr. Seth had asked her to call him by ten a.m., and so she calls him while inside the bus. She calls him at exactly ten-fifteen a.m.
“Hello, sir! Good morning.”
“Good morning. Maryann, how are you?”
“Fine, sir!”
“Okay.”
“Sir, I am on my way now. I will wait for you at the gas station.”
“It’s alright.”
“Okay, sir. Thank you.”
“See you there.”
At the end of the call, Maryann sits well and returns the phone to her handbag. She does a prayer marathon in her mind and wishes things would never go wrong, wishes for the odds to be in her favour. She induces herself into relaxation and tries to enjoy the ride. As she rides on, little beads of perspiration starts to surface on her forehead and nose. In her mind, she wonders what kind of job might be offered her at the airport. Now, the bus is getting closer to the gas station, she holds the artificial limpet attached to her necklace and closes her eyes. Maybe she prayed, maybe she imagined herself living a better life, maybe she did it on a whim. When she opens her eyes, the bus is already an inch closer to the gas station and she jumps up thinking she would have missed her destination again.
“I’ll come down here!” she shouts, startling the people sitting close to her. “Please, please, stop the bus! I don’t have any interest in going further.”
The bus comes to a halt. She forces her way through the passengers, pays the bus conductor, and alights. She produces a handkerchief from her handbag and wipes her sweaty face. She looks around herself energetically and then allows her eyes to take quick looks at her dress and her shoes. She bends down and wipes away the dirt on her bell-bottoms and shoes. Afterwards, she stands up and makes her way into the premises of the gas station. She checks her wristwatch and the time is ten-twenty a.m. She walks towards the restaurant inside the premises with the intent of waiting for Mr. Seth there. She fastens the straps of her handbag firmly to her shoulder and sashays towards the restaurant. As she is walking towards the restaurant, a man standing by a car taps her on the hand and she turns sharply.
“Maryann?”
She looks at the person shocked and nervous. Beyond her expectation, it is Mr. Seth. She gasps with the mixed emotion of surprise and excitement.
“Mr. Seth! You are here already? You scared me.” She holds her chest with two hands.
“I am sorry,” Mr. Seth says, laughing mildly. “I didn’t mean to. Come inside the car let’s talk plus you need to rest due to the risen adrenaline.”
Maryann heaves and heeds.
“I am sorry I scared you. Hope you will be okay.” Mr. Seth says to her inside the car.
“Yes, I’ll be fine.”
“Okay. I am really sorry. Here, take some water.” He hands her a bottle of water.
“Thank you.” She collects the water.
“With respect to the job, my brother works as a pilot at the airport. He told me something like the airport recruiting new fight attendants. He also said the vacancy is limited. Are you interested?”
“Flight attendant? What is the work of a flight attendant?” Maryann asks.
“A flight attendant, often than not, is a young woman employed by an airline primarily to ensure the safety and comfort of passengers. A flight attendant should be a young woman who’s not married, and ought to be beautiful. The marriage restriction thing has been relaxed though. You have what it takes to work for Kwin Airlines, don’t you think so?”
“Wow! Such a privilege! I like the job. How do I apply?” Maryann asks with a smile.
“Splendid! I’ll drive you to the airport so you can pick the form. Don’t worry, I’ll pay the ten thousand naira fee.”
“Ten thousand?! Oh, thank you sir! Where would I have gotten such amount of money? Thank you, sir. May God bless you.” She tries to hug him.
“Oh, please! There is no need for this. Everyone deserves a miracle once in a while. Let’s hit the road right away.” He keys into the ignition and the engine revs up. The car finds its acceleration and they set out for the airport.
***
As is the expectation of the Airline, Maryann fills and submits the form within forty-eight hours of recieving it. She, of course, expects to receive a favourable reply. She keeps calling Mr. Seth while waiting and expecting a reply. Then two weeks later, she picks up her phone to call Mr. Seth and sees an incoming call. She picks the call casually and, then, the miracle happens.
And that is how she went to work for Kwin Airlines.
This is how she became a flight attendant.
***
Now, Maryann works for Kwin Airlines. The uniform looks so nice on her that to behold her is to be blown away mentally. The Kwin Airlines flight attendant insignia glows conspicuously on her chest. The first flight she is to follow will be heading to Australia, that’s Flight 474. Her months-long training means she can handle any emergency situation that may arise inside an airplane. Impulsiveness tells her to do this: stand by the fuselage of the airplane and take a quick selfie! And she heeds. Yeah, having a selfie on your first day at work will certainly do no harm. Will certainly do no harm if you also do not have the intention of finding yourself, by whatever means, sitting by the propeller. She climbs, afterwards, to inspect the airplane with other members of the cabin crew. They check the seats. They check that the number of lifevests are adequate. They check the cockpit. They check everything that needs to be checked. Everything is in good shape, and this means they and the pilot can fly the passengers to their destination. Australia.
“Kwin Airlines, Flight 474 will be taking off now!” announces the head flight attendant. “Fasten your seat belts and sit tight. Have a nice flight!”
Soon enough, the plane leaves the runway and takes its rightful place in the air. Flight 474 is okay and smoothly sailing the airstream. The passengers are relaxed. Maryann shoots a killer-smile at a male passenger who calls her attention in the “First Class” section; she had wished to be in this section and not the “Economy” section, and her wish came true.
“Sir, how may I help you?” she asks, politely.
“Oh, sorry.” the passenger apologises. “I had a need, I don’t have it anymore. I am very sorry. I will call you later. You are beautiful.”
“Thank you, sir.” Maryann replies, stepping away from the man in a professional way.
“You are welcome.” the passenger replies with a smile.
Maryann returns to her standing position. She looks at the watch on her wrist and keeps her head erect immediately. Her clear vision reveals a young woman coughing, sneezing and bleeding through the nose. She goes to attend to her.
“Miss, you don’t look good. What is the problem?”
“I’ll be fine. Get me water, I need to take my drugs.”
“Okay, be gentle on yourself. I’ll be back in a jiffy.” Maryann leaves to get a bottle of water. She returns immediately, and the young woman quickly grabs the bottle of water.
“What’s the medical condition?” Maryann asks her fellow flight attendant (a nurse) who has just come to see the young woman.
“Don’t worry, leave her to me. She will be fine.”
Maryann leaves them; she walks away briskly. Her attention is on other passengers now. Minutes pass. Within few minutes of returning to her position, she sees a blue signal. She looks and sees a man beckoning to her. It is the man who called her attention before. He, probably, has a need now. She goes to meet him.
“How may I help you, sir?”
“Your name.”
“What, sir?”
“Your name. What is your name?”
“Sir, please, I don’t think I should be having this kind of conversation with passengers. My name is Maryann. How may I help you, sir?”
“Don’t worry, I am fine. Thank you.”
In a professional way, and without losing the smile on her face, Maryann walks back to her standing position.
Fortunately, she will need not to offload a great deal of distress and stress when the plane lands; this should be true due to the immense dwindling of the circumference of passengers’ help-needing.
In just the right amount of time, the plane finds its rightful place on the runway of the Australian airport, Canberra Airport. As the passengers climb down the stairs of the airplane, Maryann and her fellow flight attendants try to ensure the safety of the passengers and that the plane is in good shape. Maryann’s mind flits to the peppersoup she will have after the passengers leave the plane. She welcomes the thought with a relish.
A man, the same man who is full of needs he seems unwilling or a little willing to reveal, calls Maryann by her name. Maryann turns sharply.
“I am in Australia for a book fair. I would have been the happiest attendant if you were accompanying me. Truth from my heart.” He beats his chest.
Maryann, smiling: “Oh, gee, thanks for the compliment. But why?”
“I will tell you why if you will spend some time with me at the airport café, but I doubt you will. Here’s my card, call me. Make sure you do. Put down your phone number on this pad, you know the road to hell is paved with good intentions. I don’t want to have a heart attack from waiting for your call.”
Maryann collects the pad and writes her phone number quickly.
“Thank you, Maryann. Have a nice day.”
“You too. Have a memorable book fair.” She turns briskly and resumes the work of ensuring that everything is fine on the plane.
And so, that was it! One person called the other and one thing led to another, and a made-in-heaven relationship started. This is how Maryann found herself dating an Oxbridge graduate, this is how Maryann found herself dating a celebrated writer.
Soon, they are travelling together for major literary events – from book launch to book fair to literary festivals. Kelly Onwuka, whose real name is Kelechi Onwuka, will do anything to make Maryann happy. He often seems not to care about the considerable gulf in educational background, and so love often seemed to bridge the gap. At a book festival in Iceland, he tells Maryann a wonderful story of how his father broke down in tears when he saw his first book in his favourite bookshop. He was a writer-in-residence at an American university at this time. His father had been going to this bookshop after the Nigerian Civil War to teach himself general knowledge and to immerse himself in good literature. After a while he stopped going, but was overwhelmed on the day he returned to see Kelly Onwuka on a book spine. First, it was the surname that attracted him. So he picked the book and looked at the author’s picture at the back of the book. Lo and behold, it was his son’s picture! He broke down in tears because his son had never told him that he dropped medicine he sent him to study to pick up Comparative Literature. His father bought the book and returned home with a mixture of excitement and anger. He later called his son and things were settled amicably. On hearing this story, Maryann wipes the tears in her eyes and says, “What an emotional story!”
Now, let’s pause here and ponder over a few things:
Does it mean Mr. Seth has no interest in beautiful Maryann?
Does it mean Kelly Onwuka has never fallen in love before?
Did Maryann ever meet Mr. Seth’s brother?
Is Maryann truly in love with Kelly Onwuka?
Will this made-in-heaven relationship last?
Okay, let’s go back to the story. Love is a beautiful thing, especially if the persons in love are faithful to each other. And no one should quickly conclude that a person is unfaithful until things have been verified and analyzed.
Anyways, on a vacation in Cyprus, Maryann walks into their room and finds Kelly Onwuka sitting on the bed with a beautiful chocolate-complexioned woman. They are going through notes and looking into a laptop. This infuriates Maryann and she goes to confront Kelly Onwuka. This will not be the first time she is confronting him. This is not the first time she is seeing Kelly Onwuka with women. On the first confrontation, Kelly Onwuka told her that women are his muses. He said that seeing them laugh, toss their hair or crack jokes inspires him. Of course, Maryann did not swallow his defense hook, line and sinker! Women are jealous beings and must be treated with caution. So, of course, Maryann enters and Kelly Onwuka sees her.
“Oh, goodness gracious!” he exclaims, stepping down from the bed. “Lady, meet the love of my life!” He is still gesturing towards Maryann. He sees Maryann raise something and a bottle of beer finds his occiput.
For heaven’s sake, Maryann shouldn’t have flung the bottle.
***
She flung a bottle, a bottle full of beer. Let’s fast-forward to post-flight attendant days. Well, you already know the story. Yes, you are right, Maryann is in jail!
Marvel Chukwudi Pephel is a Nigerian writer who writes poems, short stories and other things besides. His works have appeared or are forthcoming in High Coupe, The Kalahari Review, Jellyfish Whispers, Pyrokinection, Academy of the Heart and Mind, The Avocet, Praxis Magazine for Arts and Literature, PIN Quarterly Journal, I am Not a Silent Poet, The Naked Convos, African Writer, Poetry Tree on the Charles, amongst others. His poetry was selected for the Best New African Poets 2016 Anthology. He is currently a two-time winner of the Creative Writing Ink Competition (Ireland). You can follow him on Twitter @Marvel_C_Pephel.
Academy of the Heart And Mind 